Next Phase Begins - Full Throtle

OK, we have made it (for the most part) past the "Oh Shit" phase by replacing the bad word (which I am most certain she learned from her mom), with other words. I know it doesn't have the same satisfaction as the bad word, but it is a frustration she will just have to learn to deal with until she is old enough to make those choices for herself. Let me back up a little bit here...


Sophia is a very bright girl who loves to mimic mom and dad in a number of respects. She especially is proud of her exagerated motions to "Itsy Bitsy Spider" and loves to feed herself most of what mom and dad are eating for dinner. She likes trying to use a spork (the spoon with rounded fork tongs) to feed herself as well. She hasn't quite mastered the use of the spork yet, but she gets an "A" for trying very hard. I know, I know, another level of frustration she is dealing with. Anyhow, this next phase began without Margaret nor I really seeing it coming. Sophia will go along merrily eating with her fingers and humming her cute little version of "Twinkle, twinkle, little star" (have you ever noticed that that tune is the same as the "ABC song" and several other toddler tunes), right up to the point where she is full enough to stop eating. At this point she will hurriedly grab any remaining food on her high chair tray and with the speed of an umpire calling a runner safe at home, swing her little arms and letting the food fly. This is followed immediately by an "uh-oh, all done". Fortunately for Margaret and I we have two four legged vacuums that clear most of the spilled food up, nearly before it hits the wall or floor.


I think Blue and Apollo can sense when she is about done eating and position themselves strategically on either side of Sophia in order to get to the food before her mother or I can say a word, and have it lapped up in a jiffy. This behavior, while not unique to our sweet little daughter, is something to see with your own eyes. I swear the entire exchange between grabbing the food, flinging it to the walls and floor, and dogs snarfing it down happens in nano-seconds. We are awestruck with the efficiency of Sophia and the dogs. This is fine and well at home (for the time being), but it is a little less acceptable when she is out to eat at a restruaunt, and pelts neighboring tables with her efficient (and accurate) throwing abilities. She has the cutest little smile at the end of the exchange that it makes it hard to discipline her with out cracking a smile yourself, no matter how mortified you are that she just landed a chip with salsa on the back of former Mayor of Salt Lake City, Ted Wilson's $1,000 suit. OK, she didn't really hit his suit, but can come very close when given the opportunity. And in public places we don't have the dogs to help devour the evidence.


So the word "uh-oh" has replaced "oh shit", at least for the time being, because that is the first thing out of mom and dads mouth when she launches the remaining food from her launch pad. And I know servers all along the Wasatch Front are hoping we never darken the thresholds of the establishments they are working in, at least until the spork is mastered and the thrashing of arms has been contained. Most servers, I have to give props to for being generally good natured about it as Margaret and I are helping them (or them helping us) to clean up the mess. We have been very fortunate in not having to explain too much the to servers, and they seem to take it pretty well in-stride. I am sure Sophia isn't the first toddler to relocate food in an eating establishment and will not be the last.


But now it has gotten to the point where anytime she is doing something she KNOWS she should not be doing, it is proceeded with an "uh-oh" rather than followed by one. The biggest uh-oh came for mommy and daddy a week ago when Grandma LaNan was up to our home to see the cute little munchkin, and we had not put the champagne flutes out of her reach. We turned our backs for no more than 3 seconds and she raced from the living room, across to the dining room, picked up one of the flutes (now located beyond her reach), shouted "Uh-oh!" and threw the flute on to the wood floor. Margaret, her mother and I raced into the dining room, I immediately picked up Sophia, and Margaret and her mother went into overdrive and had the shattered flute picked up and put in the garbage nearly as fast as the dogs clean up after Sophia is through eating. I tell ya, we have to be very careful about EVERYTHING now. I thought we had baby proofed everything, but it seems like each week she finds a new thing to get into. Love her to bits, but she can sure be a stinker sometimes. Well, it is now 2:00 am, and I will sign off the blog for now. Seems like this is the only time of day I can blog anymore. BTW, the thing on her head is a ladies golfing visor turned upside down and perched like a Pope hat. She does this herself all the time.

BTW: Here is a link to a Daddy Daycare Support / Play group if anyof you are interested in joining.

http://www.raisingthem.com/groups/view/100622/Stay_At_Home_Dads/

Save Sprout TV

Dear Friends,

I don't typically ask you to do things, however, for the sake of my sanity and my daughters' learning and entertainment, I am BEGGING you to do one small thing for me. DirecTV has decided that they no longer want to offer the PBS Learning channel of Sprout TV as part of their basic package. They are still offering it, but as a part of a premium package that obviously costs more money. I am asking you to click on the link at the end of this blog and tell DirecTV to stop nickel and diming their customers and leave Sprout TV where it is. Sprout TV is not asking for a larger portion of money, just to renew their existing contract which expires this February 1st. So it isn't costing DirecTV anymore to carry the programming of Sprout, but they are lining the pockets of the big wigs at DirecTV. In our area, DirecTV is the only service provider that carries the channel, so we are kind of stuck betweena arock and a hard place with this. Your help is GREATLY APPRECIATED. Thank you in advance for your assistance in this serious matter. If clicking on the link does not work with your browser, please cut and paste the link into your address bar and hit enter.

http://www.savesprout.com/?intcmp=savesprout-microsite

Thanks again, Scott

Watch Out Usain Bolt

Ladies and Gentlemen, presenting the next great threat to Usain Bolt, the fastest person in the world - Miss Sophia Mathis. I tell you what, she is at least the fastest baby in the world. Try as I might, she is always one step ahead of me. She is always getting out in front of me and making messes faster than I can keep up with. if it isn't the dirty laundry in the hamper, it's the drawer of kitchen utinsels, or her toys, or her books, or grabbing the remote to the TV, or my cell phone. By the way, if any of you get a call from my cell phone and there is no one there, I apologize. That usually means that Sophia has gotten a hold of my cell phone, navigated it off the lock screen, and gone into the call log, then hit the picture of someone that she recognizes or wants to be new friends with. Once the phone starts to ring she usually discards the phone where ever she is and goes onto the next adventure.

The cats and dogs are also getting a workout from Sophia chasing them around and trying, somewhat successfully, to grab a handful of fur. They are starting to recognize her footstep patterns and move out of the way as soon as she starts heading their way. Dusty, our "googley eyed" cat is extremely patient with her and seems to like having her fur pulled gently. She will allow Sophis to catch up to her (it's a game she plays with Sophia) and let her pull one or two handfuls of fur. I, in the meantime, am chasing Sophia down to get her before the handful of fur ends up in her mouth. This is a daily ritual that occurs several times a day. The rest -of the cats and the dogs are not quite as patient.

Another thing that occupies some of Sophia's time is watching Sprout TV. She definately has shows she likes and others that don't interest her (yet). She loves the early morning show with Chica (a puppet that is a chicken) and a live person that works with Chica. I think her favorite is Shaun, who is the only male on the program. The other three are Liz, Danisha and Kelly. She likes Kelly a lot too. The saddest part of all this is that I know who all the people are and when her favorite shows are coming on. It is a routine that I have memorized whether I want to know it or not. Sometimes I feel like I am digressing and learning the things that she is learning. My personal favorite is Zaboomafu which is on in the afternoons. I personally have a disdain for Caillou (pronounced KI-ew). a new program began in the early evenings from Jim Hensen Studios called The Pajanimals. It is really cute. Okay, enough about my preschool education.

Back to the little terror. She has her favorite kitchen utinsels to pull out of the drawer. She loves wire whisks, plastic spoons, and wooden cutting boards. Don't worry, all the sharp stuff is put away and out of her reach or in a cupboard or drawer that is locked. Maybe I should find a cupboard to put the pets in so she stops harassing them, just kidding. I just want to convince the animals that they are, and were intended to be OUTSIDE pets. Well it is time for Sesame Street, one of our favorites, so I gotta run. Eat well, exercise and be happy. Talk to you again soon.

Oh Dear...

While 10% of America was glued to their television sets, waiting to find out who was the winner of the Iowa Caucuses, my wife and I were trying to figure out the best way out of a dilemma WE had created.

To begin the tale, let me start by saying that our daughter, Sophia, is the most precious thing in our daily lives. It seems that nearly every waking moment of her life is spent with one of us and we would never allow anything to harm her. We try our best to teach her the right things for a 16 month old should know. We play with her, we read her books, and we do everything in our power to make sure she is happy and has what she needs. We have a difficult time telling her "No", to anything that won't hurt her.

Now, on to the dilemma... Neither, Margaret, my wife, nor I claim to be saints. We both have our share of skeletons in our closets and have been known to slip an expletive or two into our daily conversation. Same goes for most of our friends and families. Good people. We all will do whatever it takes to get a stranger out of danger. We give to charities, put a buck or two into the Salvation Army kettle at Christmas time, (and no, we do not ask for a receipt).

The other day, sweet little Sophia was playing with (throwing her various toys) at the floor. We were laughing at her doing this because she doesn't throw things too hard at this point. I should say, we were laughing UNTIL...

Until we realized what she was saying. with each throw she was saying "shit". Immediately we both tried to correct the behavior and get her to say "shoot" or "shucks". This effort did nothing but bring out her beautiful laughter which is contagious. We would laugh when she laughed and she again would say "shit". The corrective actions continued for nearly 30 minutes. We would try to get her involved in a different toy or book, to which she would participate with for a moment, and then take it from us, throw it and say "shit". Finally, we got her interested in some treats to eat, but I fear this is positive reinforcement to an undesireable behavior.

Since this first incident, she has begun a ritual of saying "shit", anytime she wants a laugh from mom or dad, or even to announce, "I am awake now and require your attention". It is nearly impossible to not laugh at her saying this word, and several nights later she repeated the action at Grandma LaNan's house with books. It isn't that she wasn't the center of attention, because she was. She was doing it for pure enjoyment of making people laugh. My wife and I promised each other long before Sophia began immitating us that a swear word would not be the first thing out of her mouth (not counting the creamed peas - bleh). Well, we succeeded in that, she has mama, dada and bye-bye that beat her to the first word. But seriously, the fourth word a cuss word. Please, there has to be a linguist out there that can explain to me why this is such a fulfilling word to use at any stage of our lives. All in all, she could have chosen a different, more embarrassing word to use, and I am glad she didn't do that. The situation we face is how to correct this behavior now before it is ingrained into her vocabulary and we get a call from her preschool teacher informing us of the colorful vocabulary our daughter has at three years old. I guess home schooling has a place in all of this, but as a parent I would have to give myself a failing grade so far. Any words of comfort or wisdom will be greatly appreciated.

Look Whose Walking

NOTE: Sorry it has been a few weeks since the last entry. I have had a couple of minor proceedures done and it has put me out of commission lately.

Now on to Sophia and the latest antics of the little princess. Two nights ago she was getting into a drawer that she knows that it is off limits, but she insists on pushing those limits and seeing what she can get away with. I have no idea, nor does Margaret, on where she has developed this defiant streak. Anyhow, she has pushed the limits and has acquired the turkey baster and is chewing on the bulb end. She has been told "No" several times but continued along with her escapade. She is now walking and chewing on the bulb, not thinking about what she is doing. Sophia first takes three steps, then four, five, six , seven, still chewing on the turkey baster. The next thing we know is that she has walked all the way from the "no-no" drawer in the kitchen into the front room and to the book case without balancing herself on anything. She has taken at least 15 steps on her own, all because she is not thinking about what she is doing. Bothe Margaret and I are exchanging stares and then looking at Sophia with our mouths open wide in amazement. Sophia has taken several steps in a row on her own before, but thiswas the longest that she has walked on her own without grabbing at something for support. Time to batten down the hatches, she is on her own and it is just a few weeks away from taking more and more steps on her own and getting into more and more things. It is funny how parents, at least first time parents, are so anxious for their child to become mobile, first crawling, then walking, then running - only to then realize that they are pushing for more and more work and what to baby-proof in the house so that the more mobile carpet critter remains safe.

Carpet critters is just the next stage or kids in my book. Kids start out as infants, moving to rug rats, then carpet critters, then yard apes, and finally onto gutter snipes. Infants just lay there,they don't roll over or anything. Safe to leave them alone on the floor for a few minutes. Rug rats roll around and semi crawl. They are not safe to be left alone for more than a few seconds. Carpet critters are full crawlers to "scooters" where they will stand and hold onto things to move around the room. They are in this stage for several months until they are walking on their own without any assistance. At this point nthey become yard apes. They will walk around the house sometimes shakeily, sometimes walking fast. They are safe to takeoutside at this point and walk around the back yard while you do gardening, as long as you don't have domesticated animals that the child can get into the animal droppings. Once they start hanging with friends in the neighborhood, they become gutter snipes. This is when you need to make sure they stay out of the road, learn about the dangers of cars, and the importance of checking in with mom and/or dad on occassion so that their whereabouts are well known. They remain in the gutter snipe roll until they are pre-teens which is a long way down the road. Once they are full fledged teens, the next step, you just hope that everything you have taught them from rolling over until now has stuck. Kids are a great joy to have and you should take time to enjoy each stage, and not be in such a hurry for them to make it to the next stage. The time flies too quickly. I currently have one that is an adult (19), one who is a pre-teen (10) and one who is a Carpet Critter (15 Months). It seems like just yesterday that the pre-teen was a yard ape or a carpet critter. Time flies too fast as a parent and if someone finds an unpainful way to make it last longer and it will be better than finding the fountain of youth. Enjoy your time with your kids while you can. The next thing you know you will be a grandparent.

DMD - Diapers of Mass Destruction

OK, we have all experienced, or soon will, a diaper blowout. Currently there is a cute television commercial for a diaper blowout (animated, thank goodness), by three cute babies, and rated by three other baby judges. They make lite of a potentially, very messy situation. It's all fun and games until it happenes to you.

Well, here is my, currently, most awful blow out experience. To begin with, it was a cold and stormy day. Perfect for a crock pot dinner of chili. I browned the ground beef, (no vegans in this house), added the rest of the ingredients and seasonings, and set the crock pot to simmer for the day. I went about doing my other chores like laundry, dishes, cleaning, etc. while Sophia played with her toys and looked at her books. She is very good about letting me get to the household chores and playing by herself, as long as I take frequent breaks to play with her as well.
Margaret was working a little late that day, so the chili remained cooking a little longer, which just made the beans more tender and set the flavors to mix better together. Little did I know, I was creating a crock pot with bodily nuclear reactions awaiting.

Margaret made it home safely at about 7:00 p.m. and she hurried and changed out of her work clothes, put on comfies, and came into the kitchen for dinner. Sophia sat in her high chair next to Margaret and me. Margaret mashed up the chili so that Sophia could easily gum the chili and swallow it. Sophia LOVED the chili. She ate it very well, and was on "auto-eat" (nearly sleeping while continuing to eat) by the end of it, because she was very tired. The time change is still working its magic on Sophia and she is going to sleep at 8:00-8:30 p.m., which is last weeks 9:00-9:30 p.m.

Well, she got cleaned up and put in her jammies, and went right to bed following dinner. The chili is now at work - fermenting over the nights sleep...

The next morning we all awoke, Margaret changed Sophia's diaper, no damage yet, and Margaret and I had our morning coffee, while Sophia had her morning breakfast that she is currently hooked on, Oatmeal cereal and mashed up raspberries - the final ingredient. Margaret finished getting ready and left for work. About half an hour later, Sophia and I were playing with her toys when my phone rang. I answered it as it was about a prospective job opportunity that I have been cultivating for about two weeks. I swear, I was only on the phone for about 10-15 minutes. Just enough time... Sophia never left my sight and I could tell from her facial expressions that she was doing her business. The call ended and I walked over to her, picked her up, and nearly passed out from the 'fragrance' she presented to me.

I immediately headed with her for her bedroom to change her, when I noticed my hand was moist. I moved my hand from where it was supporting her backside. It was covered in a gooey brown mess and had the same lovely odor that was permeating the rest of the house. I made a quick right turn into the bathroom. I gently set her into the empty bath tub. I rinsed off my hand and then just picked up the 'little flower' from under her arms to inspect the damage. The lighting in the bathroom was much better than in the front room.

Sophia's clothes were covered from mid-back to her knees in a redish-brown mess. I knew at this time we had a D.M.D. we were dealing with. She has had diapers in the past that will bring tears to your eyes, make the dogs run for the backdoor to get out, and have the cats trying to bury the diaper pail. Well, the cats and dogs were nowhere to be found. I was on my own. This was beyond anything I have ever experienced. I have had doggy diarrha that I have had to clean up off carpet that was less messy than this was. I wanted to puke, and nealy did. You know the gag reflex and how your mouth gets all watery before you vomit? Well, I am all over that action.

Without thinking, I instinctively, went to the bathroom drawer and pulled out some scissors. I began by cutting off her shirt, then her pants, then her onesie. There was no way I was pulling these clothes over her head or touching more than I had too with her pants to get them off her cute, chubby legs. If I wasn't in panic mode, I may have saved the clothes in a garbage bag and mailed them to an old boss. Once I had the clothes off, I cut the diaper off and set it on top of the trashed clothes. I then got the shower head that is attached to a hose and began rinsing her off with warm water. She had never had a shower before only a bath, so this was new to her as well. Sophia, in her cute usually happy self, was giggling the whole time, bless her cute little heart.

I could easily tell that the culpret was the chili, and the kidney beans gave it the redish color. What gave it the odor, I do not know, but it was the most horrific stentch I think I have ever encountered. After rinsing her off, I filled the tub with water and Mr. Bubbles bubble bath. I then proceded to wash her from head to toe, TWICE, just to be sure. I then rinsed her again and took her out of the tub and dried her off. We then continued our stroll to her bedroom, where a clean diaper and clean clothes awaited and were applied.

Now I had the dirty clothes to deal with. I needed to clean them up and throw them away. I just got a garbage bag from the kitchen, turned it inside outand picked up the soiled clothes and diaper without having to touch the poopy mess again and immediately took the bag out to the garbage can, I did not pass GO, I did not collect $200. With Sophia safely in her crib with a bottle, I opened the bathroom window, and scrubbed the bathtub.

If ever the U.S. Army or Air Force are looking for a substitute to nuclear weapons, I have the recipe. My sweet Sophia and simmered all day chili could do the trick, although the area the they use it on may not be inhabitable for many years to come. I am sure the atomic half life is near that of Plutonium 232.

Thank goodness this happenes only once in a very long time. I don't think I could handle it more often.

California

This past September we took Ethan & Sophia to southern California. All in all it was a good to great trip. On our first day it was Ethan's 10th birthday. Everyone else was too.tired from the long drive, I'm cheap that way and would drive to Hawaii if it were an option. Anyway, Ethan and I went to.Disneyland - just the two of us. We had a great time and I.told Ethan before the trip, that within reason, his birthday he would not hear any "No's". He played.it.perfectly.and had the best b-day ever. He first wanted to go on Space Mountain. We got fast passes that were good in one your, so we decided to.wait.in lime for.20 minutes, them use our fast passes and.go on it again.immediately. He then wanted to do Thunder.Mountain Railroad. He was dragging.me all.over.the park until I gave him the idea of.staying.in one area for a while, then.move to.another area. This solution worked.out.much better.on my tired, out of shape legs. We ate breakfast in tomorrow land, and Ethan was trying to catch the little birds that flutter around eating whatever people drop. To my delight, it burned.off some of my nuclear kids energy. I also noticed that there are no.stones to throw in the entire park. Who knows, probably a union or OSHA thing. But whenever during the day he said something like "may I please have a popcorn, or a soda", all he heard from me was."yes". I figured that was a good present besides the trip. It was difficult for me at first, but I eventually.got.the hang of it and it was fun.for me as well to know I.was making his day. The next day we were going to go back.to.Disneyland too since we.had 2 day park.hopper tickets but I was too.sore to make the trip. Additional things we did.on the first day was go.over.to.California Adventure. We went on Grizzly Rapids until Ethan was certain I was soaked.clear to the bone. We also.split a.pizza and while.we were eating.it, a float came.by playing Bowling for Soup song that is the.theme song to.Phenius & Ferb. A Disney channel cartoon. Ethan loves Bowling for Soup and heard the song long before I did. We.followed the.float. munching on pizza and watched.some.of the .performance, then did.a few things more in Ca Adv. Then went back.over to the magic kingdom.

The next day we spent at the beach in Oceanside. We buried Ethan up to his neck in sand and he boogie boarded on the waves. Sophia on the other hand was fearless with
the mighty Pacific ocean. We would set her in dry loose sand and she would make a beeline for the water. We thought she would have a fear.of the water, but that was not the case. We all walked around the water looking for sand dollars and found a few, plus some interesting shells.

The next day we.took it slow and went to the San Diego.Zoo. that was fun and interesting to see animals that we don't have at the zoo back.here at home. The most interesting animal for most of us was seeing the giant Panda Bears. They are on loan to the U.S. from China. There were three of them there. One Took a poop while we were watching it and it looked like.digested yellow squash - I know, just what you wanted.to read. There are only 4 zoo's in the U.S.that have.Panda's. The other 3 are back east.

The following day we went back to Disneyland. It was Sophia's first visit. Talk about sensory overload. She was looking at everything and trying to comprehend it all. Her first ride was Peter Pan, then Dumbo. She went on several rides and had a huge grin on her face. Ethan Took turns going on thrill rides with Margaret and me. In the late afternoon she finally got to small world. She saved the biggest smile and sense of amazement for this ride. To her it was people her own size, all singing the same song. I have been on that ride so many times that I made up my own verse for the song. It goes like this: "Its a small world after all its a small small world. Though we're oceans apart, you can still smell my farty, its a small world after.all". I know - crude.

The rest of the trip was fun too, and we have many memories and pics to help us remember it all. Sorry for all the extra periods in this post. I had to enter it on my phone rather than my laptop.